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PHP Application Tools' authors:
The pat website as well as all the available tools are invented, developed and maintained by the following authors:
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 | Pat, the dog
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"Whuff, whuff!"
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Pat, the dog was once called Sebastian Bergmann, when we first met him at the
South American PHP Conference 1967 in Los Alamos. We instantly fell in love with him
and adopted him as our mascot. Later on, about thirty years and 300.000.000 miles of
light travel later, we met another PHP developer (nearly as talented as our friendly dog)
and guess what, he called himself Sebastian Bergmann, too. Now, we had a huuuuge problem:
Who should change his name, to avoid total confusion in the growing PHP community?
First the two developers wanted to solve the problem with their bare hands in a fist fight,
but we managed to bring them to reason. Why don't we throw two sticks and the developer who retrieves his
stick first, keeps his name? They both applauded and dwelled in total admiration for
our brilliancy...
If you visited www.sebastian-bergmann.de
at some time you probably know what happened. You should keep in mind that our friendly mascot was at
PHP conferences since 1967, so he's quite old at not as agile as the human PHP developer  .
Yes, that means the dog lost.
He was sad. He was really sad. He had loved his name, that had accompanied for his whole life and he
wasn't satisfied with any name we came up with. There was a really long time, in which everybody addressed
him as "The PHP developer with four feet and a tail formerly known as Sebastian Bergmann".
He nearly died of the agonizing pain of losing his name.
On a sunny morning in 2001, we were having breakfeast with him in our Victorian castle in the Rocky mountains
when suddenly we decided to publish open source in a medium dubbed "The Internet" which was often also referred
to as "The cloud between two computers on paper". A name for the site was found in mere seconds:
PHP Application Tools. Suddenly the ex-Sebastian choked on his cornflakes and yelled: "Whuff, whuff! Whuff!"
We have been so stupid! We tried to think of a new name for him and in the moment we expected it the most, his name
was finally found. Of course, he was right. The acronym for PHP Application Tools would deliver the best name for our friend,
who is now called Pat.
Today, pat and Seabstian are best buddies.
With apologies to Sebastian Bergmann, the pat team.
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| Sebastian Mordziol
Sebastian Mordziol's birth date stays a mystery. Man of many talents, his very presence stirs up a loadful of questions.
His arrival on our beloved planet is also still veiled in a deep fog of peculiar circumstances and very probably a loadful
of falsified pieces of paper.
But this could all be easily forgotten were it not for his unhealthy habit of growing soft, green mushrooms on his hat. To this
date, nobody was able to find any reason at all why he should do this. His usual comment on the matter is unchanged since his
first appearance with the ominous hat: "I just think it's terribly fashionable, you know?"
All right, you'd say - he's just your slightly over-excentrical guy. Unfortunately, recent investigations were able to prove
that wrong in a secret operation into the bowels of his personal fortress under the eiffel tower. Our agents discovered a bunch
of highly confidential electronic mail, of which we will only uncover one quote coming from the man himself: "Give me a soft,
green mushroom and I'll rule the world!". So much for his goals...
But the most intriguing of all was the white gold statue in the middle of the entryhall - an ominous A with big, round eyes. Right
below it was a pedestal with a glass case containing some very ancient scripts that seemed to be lost pages from the bible - they
mentioned some kind of divinity called "The almighty Argh". Our research team is already examining the samples that we brought back, and
it doesn't look good...
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"You need a little bit of everything to make a world."
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By some unknown ancient greek thinker
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"...but there are some things that could really have been left out in this one."
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By a modern open source programmer
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| Gerd Schauffelberger
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"
Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the
former Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich and largely tax free.
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Maybe you wonder why I am here, writing stupid lines of code instead of lieing
in the park reading a book or just watching cute girls. So I'd like to tell you
a story about someone from somwhere, let's call him Mr Conner.
Mr Conner was born in the early 30ies of the 21st century. As a son of a
truck-driver he grew up in the country. Since the age of eight he has been
very interested in all kind of technical matters. His fathers dreams seemed to
became true: he taught his son in all kinds of traditional handcraft. He told him
everything he needed to know about pottery, iron working and car mechanics. But
soon Mr. Conner mentioned that he felt more attracted by the small
lights and "beeps" which came from a "made in Japan" black box inside the
lorry's driver-cabin.
At the age of 16 he had better skills in electronics and computers than in any
other mechanical stuff. But his father always told him to to choose a more
traditional profession than these "fashionable" new style ones. He taught him
how to avoid high tax rates for good work and many tricks of illicit work and to
keep his independence. But Mr. Conner didn't listen - he had already taken his decision to
work for a big high-tech company and he dreamed of an air-conditioned office
filled by the sound of houndreds of cooling fans from a huge mainframe computer.
After Mr. Conner passed exam and applied for a job in computer business, he had
the bad luck of late birth: since the dark February 2145, when eight of the most
giant software and electronic companies in Asia went bankrupt because of the
siberian conflict, the European Union and the United States where overcrowded by
skilled engineers from all over the world. After one year of unemployment he
remembered what his father once told him and changed to underground.
Mr Conner did some small computer and electronic jobs and soon he was known for
quality and fair prices. But most of his time he spends in his small flat and
codes GPL products - and of course he never pays a penny of tax for this project...
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| Last Updated: 2003-12-31 17:10:01 |
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